new hampshire - matt pond pa

i saw a modest dream 
the kind that can’t speak up 
and lost before it’s let out 
in the north we hold our tongues 

but down here i believe 
when you pull your hair back it’s so easy to see 
this has not been thought through 
there are things that we’ve done that we cannot undo 
there are things i can’t hear when we’re telling the truth 

at a table out in bethel 
when i was thirteen 
the criminals were saying 
liked how i was silent 

the cold was the container 
for the sparseness of our speech 
the expression in our hands 
was all that we’d need 

but down here i believe 
that i made a big deal with a girl that can’t bleed 
now I see red and black 
and evening that kills i want to take it back 
an evening that kills and i can’t take it back 

i’m going home back to new hampshire 
i’m so determined 
to lay in lakes and see my sisters 
i will hit my brother and hold my mother 

this probably won’t work out 
we might not live forever 
while there’s nothing to confess 
please pay attention 

and i know that it’s brief 
there’s not nearly enough in one night to have seen 
what you had in your hand 
was much more than the gold that i let go to grab 
so much more than the gold that i let go to grab